Barney Stinson Hilarious Reality TV Monologue

“You are the weakest link, goodbye. Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn’t work for us. Your time’s up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You’ve been chopped. You’ve been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn’t measure up. Sashay away. Give me your jacket and leave Hell’s Kitchen. I’m sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America’s Next Top Model. You’re fired. Auf Wiedersehen.”

So, to review, those are catchphrases from: The Weakest Link, Survivor, Top Chef, Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, Flavor of Love, Beauty and the Geek, Joe Millionaire, Chopped, Big Brother, Top Chef: Just Desserts, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Hell’s Kitchen, The Bachelor, The Amazing Race, America’s Next Top Model, The Apprentice and Project Runway. Phew.

My favorites were of course Big Brother, Project Runway, ANTM, The Amazing Race (he pretty much nailed Phil’s accent) and the pitch-perfect delivery of “Sashay away” from RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Read: Why Barney Stinston is more than a tv character.

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